Scotland the brave...

I spent the weekend in Glasgow meeting up with folks I know from various places around the internet. I'm not going to go into great detail here, I've kinda decided that things that go on in a public(ish) places such as a club or sauna are fair game, but when its in the privacy of a house or hotel room it doesn't feel right sharing the details. Lets just say that I had a really nice time with three lovely guys (not *all* concurrently!) all of who I hope to see again... I also explored my more versatile side, which went much better than I expected. I'm still more of a top than a bottom, but it is reassuring to know that I can enjoy getting fucked as much as fucking.

For various reasons I didn't really see much of the Glasgow gay scene, restricting my bar going to the very relaxed bar Revolver. What was nice about it, and was commented on by one of the guys I was meeting, was the 'ordinary' type of guys that seemed to frequent it and the general laid back attitude free atmosphere. After my the last of my mates had departed I decided I fancied another pint, so headed back there on my own. The local gay paper suggested that it was a good place to go on Sundays, and this proved to be the case. It wasn't hugely crowded, but there was a fair few guys about. What I liked was that they were playing music videos, interspersed with comedy clips - which is something I've seen in the US but not in the UK. While I was sitting supping a pint of Guinness (my drink of choice in gay bars because its pretty consistent and decent bitter is very rare) I noticed this cute wee guy come into the bar. He was obviously pretty well drunk as he didn't look to steady on his feet, but we exchanged a few glances as he sat down at a table/retro video game console thingy. As things were looking a little bit more interesting I decided to get another pint and when I got back to my seat he staggered over to me and asked if I knew how the video game worked! I went over and figured out the video game (it had various ones and I picked some Galaxions type clone) and managed to get on the leader board (I'm guessing the game doesn't get played much!). We then chatted a bit more and I discovered that: yes he was 'pished'; he has a boyfriend; he likes bears; he doesn't think much of Revolver; he likes bears in rubber and/or leather; he is a Glasgow native; he supports Celtic and agreed that the fluorescent yellow and black away kit wasn't a good look; he was concerned that I might get mugged or pickpocketed and that I needed to always know where my 'wad and phone' were. Now even though he wasn't really my 'type' (in so much as I have a type) as he was more a chaser, but there was a glint in his eye that I found attractive. I was fairly sure that nothing would happen, though if I'd been into rubber/leather I suspect I'd have been a shoe-in, despite him having a boyfriend and not quite getting that I was available if he was up for it! A couple of drinks later and he staggered off home - leaving me with a kiss and a hug, which just left me feeling rather horny and frustrated (even though I was really too tired to actually have done anything!)...

Brighton Pride

Last weekend was Brighton Pride and as we had so much fun last year we decided to go again and make a weekend of it. Pride in Brighton tends to sprawl over the whole weekend, the pubs and bars around St James Street are busy with people getting in the mood on Friday and then Saturday evening there is the post-Pride street party which starts up again on Sunday afternoon.

One of the highlights of the bigger Prides (I'm thinking London, Brighton and Manchester - but I may be doing some of the others a disservice) is the parade and the Brighton one wends its way from the pier, along the seafront and then through town eventually hitting Preston Park.

As we were staying on a seafront hotel we decided we'd watch the start of the parade. I always find that Pride parades are a good opportunity for fun photos and cute guys. The theme this year was 'Pride by the Sea' so a lot of the floats had a nautical or aquatic feel - with some very funky and colourful head-dresses.

I always get a bit emotional when all the big company's and organisation's floats go past. It always reminds me how far we've come when organisations like the police, the NHS and banks like Barclay's and Lloyds TSB have high profile presence in Pride parades.

While the parade stayed dry we weren't so luck for the festival at the park. After the parade had moved on we headed into the shopping streets for a bit of a look around before heading down to the park. It was quite strange the way that Pride completely takes over the centre of Brighton, we kept coming across the parade as it slowly made its way down the streets lined with onlookers. After a spot of lunch we followed the crowds down to the park, the weather gradually getting worse until shortly after we arrived at the festival the heavens opened. By this time we'd managed to find the very poorly signed and almost mythical 'bears tent' where we knew most of the guys from Oxford would be. We managed to keep the worst of the rain off with a combination of brollies and huddling and there was more than a touch of the Dunkirk spirit about it all. Needless to say my bf was very popular due to his oversized golf umbrella (which sadly broke before the end of the day). Whoever said that size doesn't matter has obviously never been in a wet and muddy park when its bucketing down! Eventually we gave up and de-camped to a pub for a pint before heading back to St James Street for the evening.

The street parties on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon have a really good atmosphere. Yeah, its a bit of a crush and getting about can be a pain, but everyone seems to be having a good time and its all very good natured. We always tend to bar crawl, have a couple of pints at various places and because gay pubs tend to serve terrible bitter we nearly always end up at pubs that are not normally gay! This year we got stung a bit on the Sunday afternoon. The St James Inn, where we'd had very nice beer on Friday night, decided they were going to add an 80p 'Pride Tax' and the beer we'd paid £2.70 a pint for on Friday suddenly went up by 30% to £3.50! We should have walked away in disgust - but for some reason we stayed to get fleeced for another one...

As Sunday was much better weather we were able to lounge around in the park near St James St with our lunch before joining the throng for beers. Much beer and chat later we decided it was time for food and went in search of curry. We were probably a bit too drunk to fully appreciate Indian Summer but it seemed pretty good and maybe next year we'll go back before we go drinking :)

After dinner we were pretty much done for the evening, so headed back to our hotel at a rather sedate 2200 or so. This meant we were up nice and refreshed for the trip home on Monday after a lovely weekend, despite the variable weather.

Playing with the bears...

Its been a quiet few weeks and as I hadn't been to Bears Day at the Luton Sauna for a while I decided I'd take a trip on Sunday. JC was having a week off from his regular Sunday jaunts into London, so joined me for my little adventure. After we'd disrobed and towelled up I did a quick tour around to show JC where everything was then we split up to have a stalk around the corridors and see what was going on...

I had a pretty good day. Plenty of snogging, some very nice blow jobs (giving and receiving), a nice session with JC in the steam room, giving one of the guys I see there regularly a good fucking (he was trying to beat his record of 11, apparently I was his 6th of the day!) and a really nice surprise just before we left...

I was half taking a rest in one of the cabins and half eyeing up passers by for a last session before we went when a cute beary guy I'd noticed earlier walked past. We kinda made eye contact, but he kept going... Just when I thought my afternoon was coming to an end the beary guy came back along the corridor in the other direction and I managed to make it clear that I'd like him to join me... He shut the door behind him and we started snogging and I pulled his towel away and started to feel for his stiffening cock. The first thing I noticed was a PA, which brought a smile to my face and a hardness to my cock. The next thing I noticed was a ladder of about 8 bars through the skin up the underside of his nice thick dick. At this point my eyes lit up - I'd really hit the jackpot! I know that piercings aren't for everyone, but folks that have read this blog for a while will know that I love them! We slide back down onto the 'bed' and I had to resist going straight for his lovely metal adorned cock. I was very restrained worked my way down, kissing his lovely furry chest, sucking his nipples and running my tongue up the inside of his thighs. Eventually I had to give in and licked his cock from bottom to top, savouring the feel of the bars, before taking his cock in my mouth and playing with his PA with my tongue. From his moans I thought he was almost going to cum there and then, so I moved down and gave his arse some attention. Sadly we didn't really have time to continue this train of thought as I'd agreed to meet JC, but we swapped Eurowoof profiles and we've been in touch since and plan on meeting up to finish what we started...

Pride, in the name of...

Oxford!

It was Oxford Pride last weekend and despite the rain there was a good turnout and fun was had. The main afternoon event is in a little field by the river, which makes for a lovely spot if it is sunny. Unfortunately last weekend it was raining quite heavily pretty much all afternoon, so wellies, brollies and macs featured a lot. We had a bit of a wander around the park, chatted to some folks, had a beer and half-watched a burlesque drag act before decamping to the pub for a couple of drinks in the dry. We decided that, rather than getting completely twatted we would head home for some food and a rest before going out for the evening's festivities.

The evening events were held jointly in the two main pubs in Oxford, which are both owned and run by the same person. Entry was with a wristband (it wasn't clear where the money was going to - I bloody well hope it was to Pride!) which let you into both pubs. Both had DJs and were open late, the normal Saturday night pub staying open into the wee small hours. What was good about Pride was that a lot of people you wouldn't normally see were out and about. I was quite struck by how many friends I have locally now. Add JC's London friends to that and it was a really social night out! My boyfriend flaked out fairly early (not an unusual occurrence) but needless to say JC persuaded me to stay out and then tempted me back to his bedsit for yet more booze! Needless to say I missed the last bus home, so ended up staying the night with him on his airbed (two of his friends were staying over and had the bed). I eventually got home at about 8am on Sunday (after a fitful night's sleep due to aforementioned airbed) and fell into bed just as boyfriend was getting up...

Ripped to the tits on drink and drugs...

One thing that has surprised me in my last couple of adventures is how druggy parts of the bear scene are.  Maybe I just didn't notice before or maybe its because some of the guys I've been socialising with are more into it but there were times it felt like I was the only guy not on anything other than alcohol...  The RVT has a bit of a reputation as a fairly druggy scene, but I was surprised that it was going on so much at XXL too (especially given the publicity over the death of Kevin Greening who had been at an event in the venue where XXL lives the night of his death).  It wasn't overt drug taking (the management aren't stupid I'm sure of that) but I was certainly aware that a lot of the guys were more than just drunk...

I don't take drugs.  I've tried various things but its never really had a draw for me.  I suspect part of it is because I'm a bit of a control freak.  I really don't like the idea of loosing control and the short term memory loss that is a common side effect of Ketamine (which seems to be the drug of choice as far as I could tell)  frankly terrifies me.  Doing something seriously wreckless while out of it and not actually remembering it?  No thanks!  Thankfully people on K are generally just a bit fuzzy around the edges and wobbly rather than completely out of it or on a complete buzz (I hate being around people on coke - turns perfectly lovely people into total arseholes!) so I didn't feel uncomfortable (especially when I'm fuzzy around the edges myself due to the drink!).  I don't think I'd ever consider it 'normal' though, I guess I'm just too straight-laced at heart...

Vauxhall and I

My big London weekend finished off with an afternoon at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.  After I'd checked out of the hotel me and JC got the tube into town to see a mate I'd arranged to meet up with for lunch.  Over lunch JC turned on a charm offensive and persuaded my mate (continuing the initials theme we shall refer to him as SW) to join us at the RVT for 'a couple of drinks'.  As the Victoria tube line was closed we had to do a bit of London Calculus to figure out the easiest route to Vauxhall and decided on getting the Northern Line to Oval and a 10 minute walk from there.

The RVT itself is a slightly dislocated looking detached pub near to the MI6 building, right next to the Vauxhall tube with a small grassy area (park would be over-egging it) just behind.  As it was a lovely sunny day the crowds congregated on the grassy area after getting their wristbands and a drink.   The draw of the RVT on a Sunday afternoon (apart from, it seems, the drugs - I'll cover my thoughts on this in a separate post) is the drag show with 'Dame Edna' (aka Jonathan Hellyer) followed by a DJ set.  For JC and his friends the Sunday ritual is get there about 3pm, before the queues get too big, have a few drinks (and other stuff) and catch up with friends before the show starts at 5.30.   It was nice to chill out with a few beers, catch up with SW (who I don't see very often), meet JC's friends (a few people assumed I was his new bf - the reason for which became clear when I met his ex, it wasn't quite like looking in a mirror but we certainly were the same 'type') and generally have a nice afternoon.

The show itself was fun enough.  Dame Edna is the usual drag act combination of bitchy jokes at the expense (no pun intended) of celebrity and, unsurprisingly this week given how much they have dominated the news, MPs followed by big musical numbers, often twisting the lyrics to comedic effect.  Where Edna's talent lies is in vocal mimicry - her Karen Carpenter for example was quite spooky.  There's no denying she's a good performer, but there seems to be a bit of a cult built around her which I really didn't get.  Going to the show week in, week out would get tired very quickly for me - especially if it wasn't warm enough to sit outside with a few beers enjoying the weather and the company...  The show had one extra feature this time, a PA from Alison Jiear who performed the über camp I Just Wanna Dance which seems to be a bit of an RVT anthem cause the crowd went wild.  There's no denying she has a great voice, but the song itself is such a hi-NRG gay cliché!  Amusingly I was chatting with one of JCs mates outside after the show and he suddenly completely lost the plot and asked me for a pen.  I looked terribly confused and he pointed out that Alison was having a drink outside and he wanted to get her autograph!

After the show the DJs took over and there was the inevitable dancing and once more I was persuaded to remove my shirt.  I had decided that I had to get the last train home so left the pub at 10ish.  Handily there was a stop nearby where I could get a bus straight to Paddington (which goes via Victoria - which will be useful for future trips by bus) and soon I was on the train home, knackered, but happy...

Night clubin'

This weekend was a big weekend out in London.  I was down for a concert in Camden, so decided to make a weekend of it and go to XXL on Saturday night and the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Sunday (as my friend, who will be referred to by his initials JC, has been trying to get me to go with him for pretty much as long as I've known him).  As it turned out it was a good weekend for it as there was a guy I'd been chatting to on gaydar for a while down from Scotland for the Depeche Mode concert at the O2 (unfortunately cancelled - get well soon Dave Gahan) and it was also one of the guys I know in Oxford's birthday weekend (a significant one to boot) so there were a lot of guys I knew going to XXL that night.

I've only been to XXL two times before, but its a club I like quite a lot.  The venue itself is cool, based as it is in four old railway arches.  You come in to the main bar area, then there is an outside smoking area off to the right and the left leads off to the main dance floor.  If you follow that through you come to an area that splits off to another dance floor (which always seemed deserted) and the dark room (more on that later) and leads on to another bar where they play a mix of non-dance stuff (sometimes more chillout, this week it was more indie stuff, possibly because Morrissey was supposed to be playing a gig in London that weekend (another cancelled one...)), and then another outside smoking area.

I found JC and his mates straight away and then headed barwards where I was greeted by the guy I'd been chatting to on gaydar (henceforth known as Sexy Scottish Bear) and we had a quick chat and agreed to find each other a bit later.  So after a pint of Guinness and some chatter I took a bit of a wander (via the main dance floor which was packed with shirtless fellas - its a hard life) to see if I could find Sexy Scottish Bear.  Once again I found him at the bar (definately my kind of fella) and after he had delivered the drinks to his boyfriend and mates he came back so we could get properly acquainted.  We'd had some really sexy chats on Gaydar over the last few months so it wasn't long before we'd started doing some of the stuff we'd talked about!  He is an incredibly sexy bloke with loads of lovely body hair and a great arse (he had jocks on under his kilt, not quite traditional but very sexy nonetheless).  We spent quite some time snogging in the bar area before we decided we couldn't keep our hands off each other any longer and we headed to the dark room.  The dark room in XXL seems to change every time I visit.  Last time I was there they had four or so cubicles in the main dimly lit rather than black 'cruising' area, which was handy if you wanted a bit of privacy, but they had gone to make way for more sofas and chairs.  There's also a rather precarious 'dark' bit on a platform, but as we wanted just the two of us this didn't really fit the bill either.  In the end we found a corner where the Sexy Scottish Bear made a beeline for my zip and gave me a really excellent blow job!  I then lived out a bit of a fantasy by lifting his kilt, rubbering up and giving him a good fucking!  Unfortunately we'd become a bit of a floor show by this point, which was a bit offputting, but it was still really good to hook up with him after chatting online for so long.  We're both keen to meet up again some time and have a proper session - which I'm looking forward to.

After my Sexy Scottish Bear diversion I went to look for JC again and was introduced to some more of his mates and dragged onto the floor for a dance.  Despite not intending to take my shirt off, as I had just had a new tattoo that morning, it was so hot in the club and everyone else was shirtless it felt rude not to!  

At about 4am I was starting to flake, as I'd been up since 10am and on the go pretty much non-stop, so dragged JC out of the club and off to my hotel which was just around the corner.  Eventually we fell asleep in each other's arms, rather aware that the alarm at 11am for a noon checkout would be a rude awakening...

Dust settles...

So, I've been back in the real world and the dust has settled and I've had a bit of time to reflect on my first experience of a Bear Bash.

It may sound a bit trite, but I don't think I've had such a life-affirming experience before.  I remember coming away from the 2005 Glasgow Worldcon having had fun, but having no desire to go to such an event again.  This time I was already thinking about the November bash by Sunday afternoon and telling people I'd definitely be back!  There's a difference between chatting to Bears online and socialising time with them in the flesh and it just felt like I'd found my 'tribe'.  I've been dipping my toe in the bear scene for a while now and it was great to finally jump right in and enjoy it.  I've made some firm friends, got to know people I know from the internet better and had some great sexual encounters.  I know I'm unlikely to ever 'live the dream', which is fine, but its a good feeling to know that its there, not too far away, and full of welcoming, friendly, sexy guys.  You know what?  It made me finally *believe* in way I haven't before that I'm a pretty cool, sexy, nice guy (or as Ford Prefect might say, a hoopy frood) and you can't put a price on that kind of affirmation.

Flash Mobs and Foam Parties

After Bears at the Birdcage a few guys seemed to be lingering.  I discovered this was for a hastily arranged Bear Flash Mob and thought it would be a good opportunity to try out my recently purchased camcorder.  It was basically 60 seconds of teddy bear throwing silliness.  I would say that no bears were harmed in the making of the video - but the poor teddy lost a limb early on...

We then went for some Fajitas before I decamped back to my hotel to meet up with my wee new friend from Saturday night for a bit of fun (I have learnt from this weekend that chasers are very enthusiastic and tenacious!).  After a quick shower and change - having decided to do the foam I put my shorts on underneath my jeans (so I'd have something dry to wear coming back) and sorted my money, ticket and phone into the handily waterproof pencil case that the registration pack had come in before heading to Outpost.  After a few drinks and chat it was off to Legends for the foam party!  I was flip-flopping about if I was going to actually go in the foam or not, but after I saw the first couple of guys coming out all covered in foam I couldn't help myself!  Jeans were checked and down I went.  Basically the whole of the basement dance floor had been flooded with foam.  In an attempt to control it and stop the actual bar from being over-run there were some barriers around the dance floor which seemed to work as the foam seemed to peak at about 6' or so where the pipe bringing the foam in was, to about 4' at the barriers and only about 1' at the bar (or shallow end).  Standing/dancing/walking through a waist high pool of foam is a very peculiar feeling, but in a good way!  Of course loads of foamy,  hairy, sexy men wearing nothing but shorts makes for a rather horny situation.  Needless to say there was a fair amount of action going on under the surface and I may have had my share of it!  There were a cute cubby couple (at least I think they were a couple) that were very friendly (one of them gave me a blow job - it was very nice, but gods my cock must have tasted heavily of foam) and a really lovely beary guy who I snogged the face off before asking him back to my room!  And, like the man from Del Monte, he said yes!  As I'd been told I needed to shower before going to bed it was quite nice to have someone to 'wash my back'.  We may have flooded the bathroom of my hotel room rather...  As I was in a single room it wasn't really practical for him to stay all night, so eventually he left me to get some sleep so I could be fresh-ish for the morning.  All in all a rather satisfying end to the weekend.

Life is a cabaret.

After my late night on Saturday I didn't actually make it up in time for breakfast at the hotel on Sunday.  I'd been told at registration that I needed to get to start queueing early to make sure I got a seat for the closing event, Bears At The Birdcage (cabaret and the final of Mr Bear Bash).  At about one, after I had just about gotten my shit together, I decided to head into town for a bite to eat and aim to start queueing at about half-two.  It was a good thing I was out early - after a wander around the Arndale Centre and a restorative trip to Subway I decided to check my bearings and find the entrance to the club.  It was quickly obvious where the club was, due to the large queue of big, hairy, bearded men.  I joined the queue and after about 45 minutes of standing around in the cold (getting some rather odd looks from passers by) the doors opened and in we flooded.  I'd arranged to meet the guys I'd been hanging out with most of the weekend at the club (I'd texted them to let them know the  queue was huge - when they turned up they were a fair bit behind me) so had a scout around to see if I could find them.  By the time I did manage to find them the tables closest to the stage were all taken, so we settled for something a bit further back - a good view, but not really close enough for pictures (though I did manage to get a decent-ish one of the crowd to give you an idea of the ambience).

At about half-three or so the show started.  The compere was Jonathan Mayor, someone I hadn't heard of before and from what little I could find on Google I wasn't expecting much.  He turned out to be hysterically funny.  He didn't feel the need to drag up for the Bear audience and he came over like the bastard love child of Victoria Wood, Graham Norton and Eddie Izzard (now there's a mental threesome image you didn't need).  His routine before the first of the acts was very good (I think he likes the gay audiences as he can be filthier, more explicit and the gags don't go over their heads on top of the fact that there is a lot of shared experience as he talks about his life a lot) and he was very much the charming arsehole when it came to the actual comparing.   As for the acts - The Dream Bears were deeply silly, but lots of fun.  The Manbears guys video parodies were well produced, but weren't as funny as they thought they were.  There were two singers, one of which was cute but terribly croonery and the other was a bit of a knob who responded to the shouts of 'get it off' (shirt) with 'I will if you will' - mistake!  Bears *so* don't need an excuse to take their shirts off - and it was very amusing when a shirtless bear got up on stage and forcibly removed his shirt!  The Mr Bear Bash finals were fun (shirts were not allowed and there was a certain amount of gratuitous nudity in a mainly sucessfull attempt to influence the crowd) and kudos to all the guys who entered for getting up there!  There was also Mr & Mr - which was rather sweet (especially the older couple where one of them had just turned 69).

The grand finale was a 'tribute' to Disney - which literally had me in tears it was so funny and silly.  Rather than try and describe it I'll just link to the video on YouTube...

Of steam, flumes and dancing

So, I've got a bit behind on my updates.  Basically Sunday morning (and I normally update after breakfast) was a bit of a write-off for reasons that will shortly come clear.  I'm writing this on the train home and will post when I get back.

As I said in my last entry, Saturday was a busy day.  After I posted I went into town to get some lunch and then went to the event arranged at the Basement sauna.  I'm not entirely convinced by the layout of Basement.  It has some good bits (the changing rooms, showers and hot sauna are all very nice looking and there's a lounge type area with TV and comfy sofas) but the downstairs cruising area was a bit grotty, even for a sauna, the cabins were a bit small and you have to pay for drinks and stuff as you go rather than settling up at the end (and a sauna isn't the handiest place for carrying cash).  That said it was quite nice and mazelike downstairs and there were lots of cute furry fellas around - so I'm not complaining really!  I found what I guess was the 'orgy' room (small enough to be intimate, but with porn on and large enough for a fair few guys) and had some interesting encounters,  a couple of nice thick cocks to suck and one guy who could only be described as a 'Daddy Bear' type who gave incredibly good head!  I then took a bit of a wander around and got pounced on!  We went off to a cabin and had some fun and a bit of a chat.  He claims he doesn't normally snog random blokes (isn't that kinda the point when you're in a sauna?).  Funny moment was when we both pulled out poppers at the same time (I don't usually take poppers to saunas as its yet another thing to lug around, but they are actually really good in that environment, maybe its just enhancing the inherent sleaziness of the situation and who doesn't want a bit of sleaze every now and then?).  So, I had a good time with this guy and he suggested going for a drink, so we walked back down to canal street and had a couple of drinks and a chat.  Turns out he was planning on going to the pool party later that afternoon but had forgotten to bring any swimming gear, so we took a trip into town so he could buy some.  The pool party was fun.  Lots of wet furry blokes larking about - lots of beach ball lobbing, ducking people under the water, splashing and generally being silly.  The flumes were open and I, foolishly, got talked into going on the fast one by one of the Manbears guys.  It was very deceptive - you get it and its really gentle and you think 'this isn't too bad' then you hit a near vertical drop and all you can think is 'fffuuuuuuuccccckkkkk'.  While the pool party was fun, and it was nice to have someone to go with, I think I would have enjoyed more if I'd been with a group of mates, so I may not go next year. 

After the pool party I was completely knackered, so decided to just get pizza at the hotel and have a sleep before going out.  This was a good plan.  I slept for about two hours before getting up to take a shower and then head straight for the Outpost/Legends as it was about midnight by that point and I assumed that everyone would have moved off canal street.  I was correct.  Saturday night was by far and away the busiest night - you couldn't move around Outpost and then Legends without having to force your way through.  The plus side of this is that there were many opportunities to cop a feel and get felt up - all in the nicest possible way of course!  By this point I was feeling more confident and was quite the social butterfly and chatted with most of the guys I knew from Gaydar, snogged a few bears and even got dragged into the darkroom (room is pushing it a little, it more of a tent) for a bit (the bloke gave me his number later when I was taking another wander - more on that when I write up yesterday).  The problem of how to introduce myself to the guy I spotted on Friday night that I'd met in Gran Canaria was resolved by my t-shirt.  He spotted me and said 'I have a t-shirt like that!', to which my reply was 'I know, I met you in Gran Canaria about six weeks ago!'.  I was going to head off at around three or so, but one of the guys I'd been chatting to suggested going to Company (another bar, just behind canal street) - which of course sounded like a good idea at the time!  Several drinks, chat and bear snogging later I came to the conclusion that I was ready to drop and headed home.  Finally got in at 5am!  To my credit I did actually manage to get undressed, send a text to the guy that gave me his number and clean my teeth before falling into bed!  I think this should explain why I didn't write this post on Sunday morning!

Things get a bit hairy...

Yesterday was another good day. Met a friend that I haven't seen for ages for lunch and then joined up with the guys I'd been chatting to on Thursday to watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine (not bad, but not good either, surprisingly Liev Schreiber is actually more of a draw than Jackman) and get some food. After going back to the hotel to freshen up I met up with them again on Canal St, which was *heaving*. While there was a pretty good crowd around on Thursday on Friday the place was chock-a-block with woofable fellas - life can be hard some times! After a few drinks at The Rembrant we wandered down to The Outpost, which is the bar attached to the club where all the night events were taking place. Last night was the 'school disco' - so there were lots of guys in school uniform (and some who had a rather radical interpretation thereof - I don't remember nowt but leather shorts and a tie being the uniform at my school!). I saw quite a few guys I know from Gaydar and actually said hello to some of them! The nightclub, Legends, is a bit of a maze, with three dance floors (last night they were normally clubby stuff, 80s and harder dance) and a good four or so bar areas. The guys that I was with have been to bear bashes before - so did a quick tour around the place, needless to say I completely lost my barings straight away and it took me much of the night to figure out where everything was! Amusing event of the night was seeing someone I met on holiday who I didn't speak to because I wasn't sure if 'did I suck your cock last month in Gran Canaria?' was a good opener or not... I was a good boy and only snogged one guy, stopped drinking at about 0130 and went home alone! I had a very good time nonetheless :-)

Today is pretty full, Bears Sauna in an hour so (must get some lunch beforehand) and the pool party in the evening, before another night of drunken debauchery! I popped onto Gaydar this morning to see if anyone was awake and got messaged by some guy that acused me of not being as tall as I said I was on my profile and linking to some YouTube footage from last night. I think it must have been a case of mistaken identity as a) I didn't recognise the bloke and b) the footage wasn't of me! I think I'm going to be very watchful for people with camcorders tonight - I have no desire to be on YouTube!

Manchester, so much to answer for...

So, I'm up in Manchester for the Great British Bear Bash. Things don't kick off properly until this evening, but I decided to come up the day before so I was rushing headlong into it after a long train journey. This seems to have been a good plan, I checked into my room (and got a free upgrade from economy to standard - I have a window! - only slight problem is lack of power points, I can only find one and my wee netbook doesn't have enough bus power to run a mouse, my USB HDD and charge the iPhone at the same time!), took a nap and had some dinner (carvery at the hotel - it was not bad, and very cheap) before heading out to View on Canal Street (which is just around the corner from my hotel - its a really good location) for the Early Bird registration.

Those that know me will totally not believe this statement, but I'm actually quite shy, especially around sexy guys so it was quite fortunate that the guys from Manbears that were managing the registrations were so friendly. After I'd picked up my registration pack (the theme is School Reunion - so all the registration stuff was in a pencil case) and a drink one of the guys ran me through the events (also gave me some tips for the foam party - I'm still not sure if I'm going to actually get wet or just keep to the dry bits). He asked if I was with anyone and when I replied no, but that I saw some faces I recognised but didn't actually know he then proceeded to introduce me to someone I thought I knew from Gaydar (who in fact I didn't, but I have definitely seen them around before somewhere). Anyway - I got chatting with these guys and they were cool (and fairly geeky too - iPhones and Star Wars were hot topics of conversation). The bar got quite busy - more people around on than I'd expected - mainly the early bird bears, but also the twinks and fag hags that I assume are the bar's more regular clientele. Amusing highlights was the guy with tattooed sleeves that were actually fake (I wanted to take a hankie to his arm and wipe it off!), the scary drag queen that turned out to be an actual woman (or they had the best fake tits I've ever seen) and the way all the twinks separated themselves off from the bears by congregating on the downstairs dance floor. All in all a good start to the weekend.

Taking the vapours...

The last Sunday of the month often involves a trip to that shining metropolis known as Luton to join the more hirsute types at the Gentleman's health spa. I will admit to being rather fond of saunas. They are nice places to chill out, take the steam and heat, enjoy the view and have some interesting sexual encounters. There's something awfully levelling about wandering around in nothing but a towel and unlike darkrooms you can actually see what/who you are doing and make informed choices.

Sadly my trip on Sunday was relatively dissatisfying. The bears really weren't biting and the couple of nibbles I did have were a bit, well, odd.

1) Very very handsome chap. Italian or French I think. Youngish (late 20s/early 30s), goatee, hairy chest, fairly tall, slimish and a *huge* cock. Anyway - he does the casual grope as I pass him thing, which leads to a bit of mutal groping then I follow him into a cubicle. He then won't kiss me, or even let me touch his cock, and keeps groping my arse. Call me a prick tease, but even in a sauna I like to have a bit of foreplay even if I *was* going to let him fuck me (and that really wasn't likely). After a few minutes of seeing if I could turn the situation into anything even remotely interesting I made a hasty exit. Amusingly he kept giving me dirty looks for the rest of the afternoon.

2) Older chap. Not sure about his age but he looked very distinguished with short greying hair. No facial hair, but lots of lovely salt n pepper body hair. Messed around with him a bit in the hot sauna then bumped into him a bit later when I was wandering around and took him into one of the private rooms. This guy did kiss, but that rather unfortunate lip pecking thing rather than proper snogging. Despite this I persevered and had a pleasant time sucking his rather nice cock (cut cock and trimmed pubes - the best kind of cock to suck IMO, nothing worse than pubes between your teeth!).

3) Chap in the steam room. Short and skinny, but nicely hairy with a lovely beard. This guy was very strange - I don't know what his 'thing' was, but he kept spitting on me! Then he started putting is fingers in my ears and nose! Thank fuck the showers were just outside - as I really felt the need to have a shower after I had extricated myself from his embrace. I didn't get a snog from him either!

4) Finally things get a bit better! During a final stalk around I bump into a guy I've met the last few times I've been to the bears day. Finally I get to have a proper snog! He's also a great shag - which makes up for the fingers-in-ears-guy!

A Prince among men...

As I said in my last post - I like piercings, particularly genital piercings.  For years I was fascinated by the idea of a Prince Albert piercing and one of the things I did before I hit 30 (which at the time seemed very significant and old - I was wrong, the 30s are much better than the 20s - but I digress) was get this piercing done.  For those that are unaware a Prince Albert (supposedly named after Queen Victoria's husband who was purported to have one of this then fashionable 'dressing rings' used to hide any bulging in tight Victorian trousers) is a ring that goes through the urethra and comes out the bottom of  the penis.  The addition of a ring through that part of your body offers the chance of stimulating lots of nerve endings that wouldn't otherwise be stimulated.  This is a good thing.

One thing I have found is that my PA is often fascinating to prospective sexual partners.  I've had quite a few guys who say to me 'I don't usually get fucked, but...' (I'm not sure I entirely believe them - but I can be a sucker for topping a top) and most have questions.

Will it hurt?

 Surprisingly this is a very common question.  I'm not sure why they think I would have something in my cock that would hurt the guy I'm fucking, but I guess it can look a little intimidating.  Short answer - quite the contrary.  Depending on the position the ring can be *right* on the prostate, which on some guys is the fabled 'male g spot', and can really enhance the sensation.

Can you take it out?

This depends on what jewellery I have in and where we are.  At the moment I'm wearing a 3mm BCR - which really can' t be removed without tools.  If I had the equipment to hand and its really a problem him I'll take it out.  But yanno, see question one!  Generally I prefer to wear a CBB - as I find this more comfortable and it can be easily taken out.

Is it safe with condoms?

I've never had a condom break on me - either with or without the PA in.  The ring itself is smooth, with no sharp bits that are likely to tear a condom (or hurt a guy - again, see question one!).  Condoms are stretchy enough for even large jewellery to pose no problem.

Did it hurt having it done?

Yes - but it wasn't that bad (nipple was much worse) as its going through a fairly small piece of skin.  It bled a lot the first couple of days - but after that it was fine.  Heals in about two weeks - which is one of the fastest healing piercings you can have done.

So yeah - I'm a fan of my PA and keep toying with having something else down there pierced.  One of my fuck-buds has a guiche - which is v v sexy, but I'm a bit of a fat git for that and I think it would be an pita to heal.  The same fuck-bud also has scrotal piercings - which are also very sexy.  Scrotal piercings are one of the worst for migrating (healing out) but I think that's what I'd like to get done next, or maybe on the shaft of the penis (but that takes quite a while to heal and I'd end up with balls like melons while it was!).  Hmm - decisions, decisions...

Type casting...

One of the big attractions of the bear scene is that it is full of men that tend to be 'my type' (insomuch as I have a type - my long-term partner doesn't fit my type in any way shape or form).

So - what do I like in a guy and what makes them 'my type'? There is a danger of making this into a check list and getting into a mind set of only being interested in guys that tick all the boxes. This isn't really the case, there's all manner of things that make a guy sexy, and finding a guy sexy is definitely the place to start for a good time! This is just some of the things that come into my mind as turn ons.

Body hair, preferably lots of it. I'm a hairy beast myself and I imagine it is a fairly narcissistic thing, but I do love a man with a hairy chest and belly. Blond guys with with beards and a hairy chest are a big turn on - I suspect this may have something to do with rarity value (and possibly a crush on a PE teacher at a v impressionable age).

While we're on the subject of hirsute men, a word on beards. I love blokes with beards and the current trend for them has screwed up my beardar rather. A short goatee or a nicely trimmed full beard is really sexy and I love kissing a bearded fella. It also makes for excellent blowjobs!

I like blokes to have a bit of meat on their bones. Really skinny, boney guys don't do much for me at all. What I like about the bear scene is that it is fairly forgiving - you don't have to be a muscled up adonis and having a bit of a belly is usually a positive thing! I generally prefer guys on the taller side of things too - 5'11" or more. I guess I like guys that have a lot of physical presence.

So - thats his physicality dealt with. What else do I like?

Good kissing is *essential*. If a bloke doesn't kiss, or pecks away like a budgie at its seed I'm not going to have a good time. I can spend a lot of time kissing so its important to me.

Tattoos/piercings. There is something about tattooed skin that makes me want to touch it. I have a few tattoos myself and I just love them on other guys. Piercings also greatly increase the pleasure I (and him I hope!) get from touching, kissing and sucking. Genital piercings are very horny!

Foreplay. I like to take time and really get to experience a guy's body. Its easy to get a bit focussed on penetration and orgasm - but some of the best sessions I've had haven't involved anal sex and neither of us came!

Safe sex. This should go without saying - but you'd be amazed at how many people are into bareback fucking. I wouldn't lecture a guy on this - he's an idiot so what's the point? I *do* get very cross with people that don't respect my choice and try to get me to fuck them without a condom (I've literally had to shove blokes away when they suddenly try and get my cock up their arse without a condom).

While we are on the topic of turn offs - one big turn off for me is being told what to do. Some guys have these fantasies worked out in there heads and they seem to be checking things off a list. I'm not a porn star nor a performing seal! Sex is always much more interesting when you make it up as you go along! I'm not saying I don't like to be told what is/isn't working for a guy, I just don't want to be made to feel like I'm following instructions, sex shouldn't be like making an Ikea desk!

How to make friends and influence people...

I am, it must be said, quite a social animal. As a general rule I like people. My main problem is that most of the people I know are either from work, or scattered all over the UK/world as they are people I met online. In short, I want to make new friends who live in the same city as me and if they may be interested in a bit of recreational sex (either with me or with both of us) that's cool too. I guess the term is 'friends with benefits', but the emphasis for me is on the friends. I really want people who like me as well as fancy me (even after all this time I still boggle a bit that people fancy me) - which I have been told is remarkably well adjusted.

So, where do I go to meet new, interesting and sexy people? Well - the internet of course! There are numerous sites where gay chaps can get in touch with each other. The main one I use, which I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with, is Gaydar. The BBC rather innocuously call it a 'gay social networking site', but to be brutally honest Gaydar is for cruising (with the advantage of not requiring lurking in the bushes of cold parks, public toilets or propping up the bar at the local gay pub). Despite the cruisy nature of Gaydar, or maybe because of it, I've made some new online mates, and met a good few guys that live locally. There are lots of timewasters (if you say you are going to come around and then get cold feet tell me! There is no obligation, but I will get annoyed with waiting around for no-shows), people that can't/won't read a profile (no I'm not looking for a boyfriend - I already have one thank you) and people that don't tell the whole truth (lovely picture on your profile, shame it is so old it may as well be of someone else) but when it clicks with a nice guy (for sex, socialising or both) it kinda makes it all worth while. I've tried other sites, including more Bear specific ones (like Eurowoof), but I keep going back to Gaydar and its city specific and bear chat rooms...

Open up...

One of the biggest changes in my life in the last year or so is that my long term relationship has gone 'open'. We've always been fairly OK about occasional lapses from monogamy, but as time as gone on we've come to realise that we can't always get everything that we want sexually from one partner. In many ways making the relationship open has strengthened it. We still have a great sex life with each other, but we also have recreational sex with other people.

We haven't really set out rules, but it is mainly about being honest with each other, not hiding anything and not doing anything un-safe. We've had threesomes, we both have regular 'friends with benefits', I go to Bears Day at saunas and so far it is working out really well for us.

The biggest thing for me, and the reason why I couldn't have done this in my 20s, is that I've finally got to a stage where I can disassociate sex from love. I have a few regular sexual partners that are becoming good friends, but I have no romantic feelings for them and couldn't imagine having the comfortable domesticity that I have with my long-term partner.

I still feel like I'm having my cake and eating it, and I can see that it wouldn't work for everyone, but I'm really content with this part of my life right now....

Hello, good evening and welcome...

This is a bit of an experiment. I have a blog over at wordpress, which never really got of the ground, and a Livejournal which is mainly used for keeping up to date with the folks still there. The question is - why am I starting another one? I've had a lot of thoughts rumbling around in my head that I quite fancied blogging, but they didn't really fit with what I was doing (or not as the case may be) with the other blogs, so I figured making a fresh start was best.

In the last couple of years I've started to self-identify with the bear sub-culture and things have changed a bit in my life so I can get involved with that scene. I'm never going to be a complete bear scene-queen but I've been having fun dipping my toe (and other parts of my anatomy!) into the delights of the world of the furry gentlemen and their admirers.

So, what are my plans?
Expect fairly explicit discussion about gay sex, sexuality and relationships.
Expect my thoughts on the gay scene, specifically the bear scene in the UK.

People that know me from my other blogs may get a bit of a shock!