Open up...

One of the biggest changes in my life in the last year or so is that my long term relationship has gone 'open'. We've always been fairly OK about occasional lapses from monogamy, but as time as gone on we've come to realise that we can't always get everything that we want sexually from one partner. In many ways making the relationship open has strengthened it. We still have a great sex life with each other, but we also have recreational sex with other people.

We haven't really set out rules, but it is mainly about being honest with each other, not hiding anything and not doing anything un-safe. We've had threesomes, we both have regular 'friends with benefits', I go to Bears Day at saunas and so far it is working out really well for us.

The biggest thing for me, and the reason why I couldn't have done this in my 20s, is that I've finally got to a stage where I can disassociate sex from love. I have a few regular sexual partners that are becoming good friends, but I have no romantic feelings for them and couldn't imagine having the comfortable domesticity that I have with my long-term partner.

I still feel like I'm having my cake and eating it, and I can see that it wouldn't work for everyone, but I'm really content with this part of my life right now....