How to make friends and influence people...

I am, it must be said, quite a social animal. As a general rule I like people. My main problem is that most of the people I know are either from work, or scattered all over the UK/world as they are people I met online. In short, I want to make new friends who live in the same city as me and if they may be interested in a bit of recreational sex (either with me or with both of us) that's cool too. I guess the term is 'friends with benefits', but the emphasis for me is on the friends. I really want people who like me as well as fancy me (even after all this time I still boggle a bit that people fancy me) - which I have been told is remarkably well adjusted.

So, where do I go to meet new, interesting and sexy people? Well - the internet of course! There are numerous sites where gay chaps can get in touch with each other. The main one I use, which I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with, is Gaydar. The BBC rather innocuously call it a 'gay social networking site', but to be brutally honest Gaydar is for cruising (with the advantage of not requiring lurking in the bushes of cold parks, public toilets or propping up the bar at the local gay pub). Despite the cruisy nature of Gaydar, or maybe because of it, I've made some new online mates, and met a good few guys that live locally. There are lots of timewasters (if you say you are going to come around and then get cold feet tell me! There is no obligation, but I will get annoyed with waiting around for no-shows), people that can't/won't read a profile (no I'm not looking for a boyfriend - I already have one thank you) and people that don't tell the whole truth (lovely picture on your profile, shame it is so old it may as well be of someone else) but when it clicks with a nice guy (for sex, socialising or both) it kinda makes it all worth while. I've tried other sites, including more Bear specific ones (like Eurowoof), but I keep going back to Gaydar and its city specific and bear chat rooms...